I spend many hours sitting in my chair with 2 missing wheels so I look lopsided when I am at work while starring at an old CRT monitor for hours. I have perfected the art of silent farts and playing off farts for the past year now. When there is no one in my room, I like to fart out bullets (loud, but not deadly). There was this one time where I was wrong - I let out a couple BB shot farts 5 minutes before kids came back in. The heater was on (this was in the morning), so I think it made it a little worse. Anyway, the first thing they say when they walk in is that it smells like a skunk in here. Because I am older (hence, wiser) than them, I matter of factly tell them maybe it's because I opened the door a little and some kind of weird smell came in. Little did they know, it was because of my farting in a closed room. That's what you get kids, for all the love drama you've caused this year!
I have also perfected it in front of my boyfriend, I actually fart a lot around him, he just doesn't know it cuz I'm pretty good at silent farts now! =)
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