The Amazing Power of God

Rules... are they really made to be broken? I know I have friends who love me and are always looking out for me. That's why everyone told me that I shouldn't communicate with D till 2 weeks afterwards and not even see him till after I come back from my missions trip. At the time, everything made sense... we both needed our space and that's the "right" thing to do.

I had the intentions of going with these rules as well. Except two days after our break up, I had a huge urge to e-mail him just to tell him my good news, to not worry about me anymore because I was doing perfectly fine. My mind was not clouded anymore and I have also come to the same realization that he came to months ago, we would be miserable if we married each other. I held back that urge that night because it would be breaking the rules, and I felt really bad for telling him that after a 1.5 year relationship, I could move on so quickly just like that, *snap*.

That night I was just lying in bed, thinking "wow, how could this happen?". Never in my wildest imagination could I have imagined that I would be over him so quickly and be at so much peace. I knew a lot of people have been praying for me, D included, and this was the first time that I truly experienced God in a BIG way... that He was always there for me, and that He has answered all those prayers that people have said for me. I have always had little experiences where I knew God heard and answered my prayers, but I was just waiting for a BIG experience to share with others to show that He is there (and bam!, there's my experience).

The next morning, even though it was against the rules, he messaged me and asked how I was. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to just tell him everything, and that conversation was probably the most carefree and honest conversation we had in months. I was so happy and relieved to just tell him my realizations of the relationship and vice versa. We had a great phone conversation as well as more chatting afterwards as well. We were both happy just knowing that after 1.5 years, it's good that that door has closed and we'll both be able to move on.

Because of the "us" history, I told him I'll probably transition out of small group and find a new group, since it will probably be easier for him than me. However, during the course of the day, as we were talking about our vision and what we wanted out of everything, it looks like if we were both mature enough to place our history in the past and move forward together, there's a possibility that we can still continue serving together. I was pretty excited about this because I always thought we made a great team serving together, our gifts complimented each other, sorta. And once again, this was just another experience where I was wowed by God's awesome presence in both our lives; to be able to move forward and be able to still serve God together. Of course, I was thinking on and off the whole day if I was doing it for the wrong reasons, because if I had any doubt in my mind, I would definitely just say no and step out of it, regardless of how excited I was to help be a part of the transition of our small group.

A friend once told me that she does not regret anything from her past relationship. You lived it, had great memories together, and learn from it. I think the biggest lesson I learned from the whole thing was that God is greater than all of us, and He is more than capable of accomplishing what us humans cannot fathom. And this is probably, by far, the greatest testimony I have that God is alive and truly working in my life.

I'm thankful for a lot that came out of this past relationship. I was able to get to know an amazing person on a deeper level, and although we didn't get to have a Disney "happily ever after", I still believe I did, to some extend that cannot really be explained in words. I was able to recognize my passion in serving. D always encouraged me to come out of my comfort zone if I truly wanted to be stretched, and slowly, over the course of this year, that's what I did. If it weren't for this relationship, I don't think I would've grown to become the person I am today. I think that's a huge reason why I still want to continue working with him, even though to everyone else, it doesn't make sense because now is the perfect time for me to transition out as well. We'll see what God has in store for the both of us...