Changes

No, I don't wake up in the morning and want to blast myself (if that did not make sense to you, just ignore it and move on).

It was an honor this past weekend to go and see two of my college friends get married in a small, beautiful wedding in Pasadena. But no, that's not the change I'm talking about, even though I'm very happy that Danice will have a change in their relationship from being engaged to being married and all that other fun stuff I have yet to experience.

The best word to describe it was that I was a bit shocked. These are the friends I "grew up" with in college, the same ones I served with in ministry the last two years of my Davis life. During our one year reunion post college at our friend's wedding, it didn't seem like much has changed. But having this reunion this time around was completely different. It came as a complete shocker to me with how different I felt there with my former group of friends.

Here I am, completely consumed with my new passion for ministry and serving while most of my close knit group of friends from college have completely fallen away from it due to different circumstances and surroundings. It is quite sad, but who knows, maybe something will bring them back in the future. I just felt like the odd one out, but at the same time it was a nice feeling too. And to top it off, going to my friend's church before going back home was nice and refreshing too... I really enjoyed the message about trials.

It was a bit weird. I'm used to talking with people and sometimes even starting conversations, but things just seemed a bit... superficial to me this weekend and everyone just expected me to act like the same person I was four years ago. Definite changes.

Enough!

Once again, I was watching another Sex and the City episode last night where Big is planning on moving to Paris (for business) and does not discuss it with Carrie. She later decides to be supportive and tells him to go, I forgot what he said (I was multitasking), but all of a sudden she threw her filet-o-fish at his TV and storms out.

Anyway, what I saw was someone who desperately wants to be a part of his life, but later realizes that it's over... there's really no hope left. Now, if it was just some friend who mentioned that to Carrie, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind at all and wouldn't have that "enough is enough" attack.

I see that happening in my own life as well. Usually I don't get mad at people, and if I do, it's a very brief madness. But I guess it's true, you always have a higher expectation for those you care about the most. It's easier to get mad at them for every little intricate detail because my expectations are so high.

This entire week has been filled with drama-drama-drama. I DTR-ed with somebody and basically said no, but of course I didn't get mad over that, just happy that I did it. But what stood out to me time and time again is how I get mad at somebody for the littlest things, and the reason for that (even if it seems a bit unfair) is because I care too much and expect "perfection"...